I’m going to Jail!

Check it out!

I look kinda like Jay-Z.  Is that weird?

In other news, I also just won $50,000 at the 26th Annual North/South 100 At Florence Speedway!

Endurance

Endurance Vitamin Water is the single best drink in the history of drinks.  This is fact.  Try it.

The Thriller

One of my dreams in life is to some day meet Darren “The Thriller” Miller.  He is a professional Dirt Car racer from Milledgeville, IL.  His website is at http://darrenmillerracing.com/.

I’m waiting for his domain name to exprire so I can pick it up.  So then all these dirt car fans would go to his website and it would be a giant photoshopped picture of the two of us high fiving.  And then underneath it would say “Hang tight!  The new Darren Miller joint website is coming soon!”  I figure a joint website is really an inevitable way to get to meet him.  Because once you’re roped into having a joint website with someone, you at least have to sit down with them and talk about how it will be structured, what design concept you should use, and what functions each person serves in maintaining the site.

If you check out his website, you’ll learn to love him too.  Here are my 5 favorite things about The Thriller:

1. His nickname is “The Thriller” and he’s a white guy from Illinois with a loving family.
2. He has an almost-sort-of-unibrow, but not in a bad way; in an endearing way.
3. He’s actually pretty fucking good at dirt racing.
4. We’re the same height.
5. He knows a good number when he sees one.  His number is 32d.  32 is the number of Magic Johnson, Karl Malone, Julius Erving, Kevin McHale, Sandy Koufax, Steve Carlton, and Jim Brown.  32 is also the supposed age of Jesus Christ when he was crucified, and I’m not an expert, but I think 32d is a pretty solid bra size too.  Also, I should mention that strangely, he himself is 32 years old right now.

My friend, Travis, had an idea to film a documentary about me trying to find The Thriller.  I think it might happen.  If anyone is interested, The Thriller is actively seeking sponsorship, and I am actively seeking financing for this documentary.

beast.

I’m in a comedy group called beast. and we have a new website.

check it out.

Hmmm…

So I started this blog over a year ago and made one post.

Whoops.

I think I’ll start writing again.

This is more for people who potentially read this blog in the future, and then scroll down.  I don’t think anyone’s really been coming here and continuously being disappointed that I haven’t updated.

Except for me.

Wow, this is getting morose!

New Site

Hey! So here’s my brand new website. I’ll have updates and info on what I’m up to in life, comedy, and more. The more is still a bit up in the air. I’m sort of collecting miscellaneous material, and when you’re only used to hearing about life and comedy, I’ll hit you with more and you’ll be like “woah man, I didn’t expect that at all.”

I’ll write in my blog a whole bunch and maybe you can read it and correct my grammar or something. I’ll be sure to post videos and stuff and anything I’m involved in. I mean there’s a lot of stuff other people are involved in too, real good stuff. But they have their own websites. I mean if I find something that has nothing to do with me, I’ll be like “hey, check this out….on this other website.” And you’ll be like “woah man, I didn’t expect that at all,” and I’ll be like “maybe you should start expecting things.”

So expect things.  Not only from this website, but in life.

I don’t know if I mentioned this: I’m extremely insightful and profound.